There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
