and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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