I feel great
I just peed on a car
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
