I puked a lego.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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