i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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