Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
