so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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