Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
