I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
