The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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