i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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