You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
