I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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