never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
