Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
