nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
pray to the hookup gods
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
