why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
