Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The beer is more important than you right now.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Come on in and take your pants off
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