i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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