Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
