That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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