i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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