i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
