i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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