Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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