One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
