dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
