I hate your face
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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