im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
