He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
