Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
