Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
