Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
