Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
