I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
