My first STD was from a foam party
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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