If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
