Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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