he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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