But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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