Will you blow on my dice?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dick very happy bro
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