Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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