Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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