You really coming over, don't trick.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
