okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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