You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
