Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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