Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
