he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
