he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
