i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
