therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
