went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
