i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
