R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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