is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
