I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize