You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
