did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
if only i could text you this smell
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
so much tequila, so little girl.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
